


upper class corruption, stone-cold seduction

by invertedrainbow



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Somewhat, also dense, and burnie is stupid too, basically joel has a crush on burnie but he doesn't know that yet, because joel is stupid and cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2013-12-10
Packaged: 2018-01-04 06:23:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invertedrainbow/pseuds/invertedrainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joel believes that when he finally falls in love, he would be overwhelmed by it that he’d know, he’d know that he’s finally in love; he, Joel Heyman, in love! He is never a great believer of it, but he always hoped for it.</p><p>He figures it would be like the 4th of July, sparks everywhere, general happiness, cheers all around.</p><p>Realizing that he is in love with Burnie Burns isn’t like the 4th of July, simply because what he realized isn’t the fact that he is in love with Burnie, but the fact that he has been in love with Burnie for a long, long time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	upper class corruption, stone-cold seduction

**Author's Note:**

> this ship needs more fics
> 
> also wow i forced this out of my system again wow
> 
> title is from crazy for you by hedley

Burnie, Joel thinks, is a bag of pure annoying and damn talent, and how he manages to get into his nerves for the simplest reasons just baffles him, primarily. Burnie tends to be a pain in the ass, sure, but he makes up with those insights of his. He practically revolutionized the company with his fiery dedication and whatnot. But then again, Joel is probably as annoying as Burnie, so he figures he should tolerate such erratic behaviour. Ugh.

People think they have this… chemistry. Which pretty much explains why Matt forces them into these roles that exclusively shows them as a pair, like in Red vs. Blue, or those shorts where they play detective, or those cops in RWBY, or the hosting gig in The Gauntlet. The worst part? The fans are feeding into it like crazy.

(He would never admit it, but Joel thinks so too.)

It’s okay, Joel believes. It rakes in cash and fans, even though he feels awkward around Burnie. Which shouldn’t be. At all. Because they are friends. What is this.

He decides he should do something about this before anything worse happens.

\--

Avoiding Burnie isn’t the best plan he has formulated over the course of thinking, but it is the easiest to perform, so he continues to do it until Monty invites the cast and staff RWBY for a night out. Which means, he has to go. Because he has two roles.

And Burnie is also part of the cast. Fuck.

\--

A drunk Burnie slumped on his shoulder is not a part of his plan, and neither is it pleasurable to bear with, because Burnie is an annoying drunk.

But when he stays silent for a minute or so, Joel knows there’s something wrong, so he leaves him on Monty’s couch to get him a glass of water. When he comes back, Burnie accepts the drink sadly while asking, “Joel, we’re friends, right?”

“Of course,” Joel answers, and he means it.

“You wouldn’t lie to me, right?”

“Of course not,” Joel lies, because he definitely would. This is Burnie we’re talking about.

“Then why are you avoiding me? We haven’t had a single drink for weeks,” Burnie looks up from his glass with those puppy eyes of his, and Joel just sighs and gives up everything. “I know we have different offices but this is ridiculous.”

And here he thought he isn’t weak against dogs.

\--

 When the party ends, Burnie is too drunk to drive home and Joel is, surprisingly enough, sober enough to do a final charity act for the day. So he takes Burnie home…

… which causes more frustration than he ever takes into account for. He always seems to forget that Burnie is the most annoying drunk of all time, with all the shouting and rough-housing and general teasing. Joel only has too much patience in his hands, and by the time they reach Burnie’s apartment, his patience is at its all-time low.

Burnie has fallen asleep on the passenger’s seat and it is unsafe, Joel thinks above all. The coast is clear and Burnie’s neighbourhood is well-lit but dark enough to do shit. Joel takes off his seatbelt and leans to Burnie’s side to take off Burnie’s…

Only he is frozen in his seat, too mesmerized to move. To say that Burnie is handsome is an understatement. And Joel is panicking because he doesn’t know why he is noticing this. Maybe he has a little too much to drink, but that doesn’t cut it. He finds Burnie extremely attractive, and he’s not sure why.

\--

He ends up sleeping on Burnie’s couch because Burnie has always been notorious for doing tomfoolery when he’s drunk, and Joel is too tired to chase him around town. So he figures if he slept in close proximity, he would wake up when Burnie even tries to drink water.

Of course, it never passed his mind that maybe the reason why he couldn’t sleep that night is because Burnie is steps away from where he lays, and he couldn’t bring himself to come closer because he has always been afraid of the whole “closeness” thing. They’re friends but they’re also not. Joel has never been a great one, to begin with.

\--

He wakes up with the smell and sizzle of bacon and eggs against the pan, the clanging louder than it should be. By then, he realized he is having a bad case of hangover even though he drank too little on the party the night before. (Except, he drank all the beer in Burnie’s fridge because he can’t sleep, and he just wanted to sleep and not think of Burnie.)

He pulls himself off the couch and peers over the kitchen, where Burnie is cooking enough for two.

“Hey, you’re up!” Burnie says when he sees him awake, and Joel offers a small smile. “And you seem to have ransacked my damn bevs, so here’s an aspirin for your troubles.” He puts the aspirin and water on the dining table, and Joel drinks it without any comment. It is a Saturday and Joel isn’t planning on going to work, but he does have to get home to take a shower (a long one) and think about everything. _No it’s not about Burnie, it’s about my, uh… job. In Hollywood. Yeah._

But, when Burnie lays down a plate of bacon, eggs and toast in front of him with a bashful smile and even a more bashful, “Thanks for last night,” he knows he would probably stay over for a few more hours. Watch some movies on the couch. Play Halo, most likely. All for the magic of friendship.

(It is a bad excuse, but an excuse, nonetheless.)

\--

Joel probably has a crush on Burnie. Which explains the reason why he’s letting Burnie win in Halo.

Who does that? Halo is the game of gods, and losing on a game that they made a series on is just sad. Or maybe he simply refuses to admit to himself that he just sucks in videogames in general. (But then again, he is sucking more than usual, and Burnie notices it.)

“What the fuck are you doing, Caboose?!” Burnie teases in his Church voice, and Joel just laughs. Burnie does this a lot; he would tease Joel as he channels his inner Church and Joel just rides along the whole charade.

“Do you think Church likes Caboose?” Joel asks as his character dies for the umpteenth time, and he settles on putting the controller down his lap.

“I think he does,” Burnie answers with a wistful sigh, followed by a short smile that eases out into a nonchalant expression. “Caboose is in charge of remembering him, right?”

“Well, yeah, but Church has never been a person of endearment, you know?” Joel says bitterly, succeeding on finding Burnie in the huge map they chose for that round and finally shooting him straight on the head. He pauses the game to grab a bev from the new pack Burnie bought earlier and passes one to Burnie, who says thanks in appreciation. “Church is so hung-up on Tex that he forgets the other stuff. It’s a little frustrating.”

“You can’t blame him, though.”

“I could,” Joel says when Burnie finally turns off his XBOX.

He doesn’t understand how Burnie could defend Church. Besides, it’s canon that Church is a self-centered jerk who focuses his everything on what _Tex_ does. There has never been room for _Caboose_. _Caboose_ is irrelevant to _Church_.

It frustrates Joel more than it should.

So when Burnie teases him again with a lovingly said “Caboose,” Joel couldn’t bring himself to joke around with this. It upsets him how easy Burnie could change his over-all mood. It upsets him how much his heart hurt when he heard how Burnie said Caboose, and how he yearns for it, knowing he’ll never hear that with his name on Burnie’s lips. He grabs his coat and steps out of Burnie’s house, driving away as fast as he could, and trying to forget how Burnie’s voice sounded in his ears and how much he wanted to hear it again.

Joel probably hates Burnie.

\--

He wakes up for the second time that day with his bed empty and cold. His phone is buzzing against the bedside table and he groans; he isn’t in the mood to talk to anyone because his hangover is back and he refuses to deal with it like a proper adult.

Still, he feels like he owes Burnie some kind of explanation, because he did leave without explaining why.

There’s the guilt.

He answers the phone.

“Finally! Jesus fucking Christ, Joel, I’ve been calling all afternoon!”

“Or so I’ve noticed,” Joel mumbles and he realizes it is a bad idea to get up; an instant pain is felt in his head and immediately hates everything. But Burnie sounds as mad as he is, so he figures he should deal with this before anything else.

“I’ve been worried sick, you fuck! You stormed out of my house with four bottles of beer in your system and you didn’t even tell me why!”

That is one way of putting it, Joel thinks. But he doesn’t say it out loud. He doesn’t speak for a long while, because he knows he is going to fuck this up again, and worst case scenario, he loses a friend. And a job he actually loves.

When Burnie sighs and says, “I just wish things were easier right now, you know? I feel like we’ve been stressed for a long while and I just want to go back to where we were from. The whole RVB thing. First six episodes,” Joel actually agrees.

“Aren’t you glad of how your company grew over the years?”

“Of course I am, idiot. But,” Burnie answers. “I just miss it. I feel so old now.”

“That’s because you are, idiot.”

Burnie laughs and Joel smiles; it has always been this way ever since then.

“I’m sorry, by the way. If I said something.”

“Nah, water under the bridge," Joel tells him, because he can never stay mad at him, even if he tries.

\--

Season 12 of Red vs Blue means more recording sessions, meaning more idiotic Caboose and more grumpy ol’ Church. It also means Joel gets stuck in a booth with Burnie since most of the time, they record the lines they have together to save time.

Even with Miles directing the previous season, Matt mostly has control over the voice actors when recording, given the huge amount of time they have done this over the years. Besides, Matt has been a great help for Miles and vice versa; they managed to release a great season and they plan on continuing to do so for a long time.

They have been recording for a while now, probably four hours, and they decide to take a break, and while Matt and Miles grab lunch, Burnie and Joel stay for a while to run over their remaining lines.

That’s when Burnie decides it is hilarious to joke around in the booth. He starts by calling out to Caboose in his bedroom voice, making Joel hot and bothered while sitting on one edge of the booth.

“Caboose, come on,” Burnie says when he pulls Joel off his seat. Joel stands awkwardly while Burnie continues to tease him, lightly petting him on the shoulders and pecs, and if Joel doesn’t know better, he would think that Burnie is luring him into this.

“Church,” Joel calls out as a warning, because he is not sure how more of this he could take.

“Don’t you think we’ve been playing around with this too much?” Burnie suddenly asks, his arms around Joel’s neck, his lips ghosting near Joel’s ear. “You like me, don’t you Joel?”

“I hate everybody,” Joel answers breathily as he tries not to grab on to Burnie’s waist.

“Yeah, but you hate me less,” Burnie smiles knowingly, and Joel’s self-composure just disappears, just like that.

He pins Burnie against the wall when they finally start kissing, and he knows if he doesn’t stop, a lot of things could fall out of place. But with how Burnie is kissing back and how he thinks this might actually _work_ , he couldn’t bring himself to stop this. Whatever _this_ may be.

(Kisses hurried, hands frantic, hearts in sync.)

He likes this side of Burnie: the side no one knows about; the side that shows him how much he craves for Joel’s attention. How much Burnie would be pushed over the edge and just let go, knowing he’s endured enough.

The side where Burnie squirms underneath his brute strength, his lips pressed on Joel’s collarbones; moaning, his right hand on Joel’s shoulder bracing himself. With their cocks pressed together, only one word is released from Burnie’s mouth, and it’s the only word that matters.

“Joel,” he says, and Joel wonders how he could make it sound so beautiful.

Burnie is red and burning, his cheek is pressed on Joel’s heart and Joel wants him to stay there forever. As his hand fumbled on their erections, he noticed the leaking pre-cum on Burnie’s and he chuckled to himself.

Joel goes down on his knees and Burnie stares him down with half-lidded eyes; he knows where this is going and how risky it is, but he can’t bring himself to reject Joel. Not with that mouth of his.

Not with the way Joel licks the pre-cum before completely taking Burnie in his mouth his tongue guiding along smoothly and releasing him with a soft “pop”. Not with the way Joel threaded along the shaft and pressed on the veins with his tongue, sending too much pleasure for Burnie to bear.

Not with the way Burnie’s heart is completely captured by this man.

Burnie comes with Joel’s name in his lips, and Joel fed into it like crazy. He cleans Burnie off fast, licking it all off and swallowing greedily. Joel stands up with a grin and zips himself up; his erection is still there but he decides not to mind it anymore. Burnie is staring at him worriedly, and before Joel could say anything, Burnie is pulling him in another kiss; soft, careful, cautious.

Joel knows what this is. He has been through enough “almost relationships” to know what this is.

Burnie is testing the waters, and Joel lets him.

“This isn’t…?”

“A one night stand? Casual fuck? Fuck no. Who would—“

“A lot of people.”

“I wouldn’t, Burnie. I would never—“

“I know, I know,” Burnie says with a smile, and how he looked is forever embedded on Joel’s mind. “You would never—“

“I would never hurt you,” Joel finishes off as a whisper, cupping Burnie’s cheeks. Burnie leans on to the warmth of his palms and soon enough, Joel’s lips are on his, and he’s falling even further. “I—“

“I know,” Burnie smiles and whispers back in between their kiss. “Me too.”

Joel believes that when he finally falls in love, he would be overwhelmed by it that he’d _know_ , he’d know that he’s finally in love; he, Joel Heyman, in love! He is never a great believer of it, but he always hoped for it.

He figures it would be like the 4th of July, sparks everywhere, general happiness, cheers all around.

Realizing that he is in love with Burnie Burns isn’t like the 4th of July, simply because what he realized isn’t the fact that he is in love with Burnie, but the fact that he has been in love with Burnie for a long, long time.

 “I’m an idiot,” He announces, and Burnie rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.”

\--

Matt calls everyone for a staff meeting, and Burnie is confused for the most part because he is always informed beforehand about meetings. Gus, Geoff and Joel are, too, but they decide not to mind it as much, thinking that maybe Matt forgot.

“Good morning, everyone,” Matt says. “Today, we’ll talk about office romances.”

“Hey, I thought this shit’s covered in the contract?” Michael asks while the others shrug it off, some typing away with their phones.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t cover office sex, does it?”

Most of the people groan in annoyance, claiming that it’s too early for this shit, while Burnie and Joel could only grimace at the whole discussion when Matt starts talking, and when everyone’s attention isn’t on him, he winks at the two with a grin.

“Never do it in the recording booth, especially when it’s still recording. To the people involved, thank you for the fanservice. We might use it in future projects, even!”

Burnie and Joel thinks that Matt orchestrated the whole thing, but it’s hard to point with fingers without proof.

 


End file.
